As relationships outside of marriage morph from occasional sex partner to live-in “others,” I’m memorized by the titles we use and what they really imply. So I thought I’d give a BCG definition to some of the more common ones.
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You have been called some of these things in the past by someone you dated. Once or twice could be just a slip, but if this is all he/she calls you… take note.
If that upsets you, your problem is with that person, not me. If you email me/post a comment with your particular story, and insist that you are different and my rules don’t apply to you, I’m going to be polite and say “Yes you are. Your situation is special and you mean more to him/her than that. He/she feels stronger for you and you are the exception that falls outside of these silly rules.”
Please know, I don’t really mean it. It’s just something I will say to be considerate of your feelings and make me seem like a nicer person. I’m not a jerk, and don’t want to make you feel bad. But I can’t change the facts or tell you what to do about them. So please direct your fussing to the proper person.
NAMES MEN GIVE WOMEN
Girlfriend/ Wifey
You have been in the mix for a while; maybe even years. You make dinner, do the laundry, help in a pinch, or just look great when you go out (relationship specifics may vary). He realizes in return he is supposed to be faithful, available, and supportive. He may not accomplish any or all of these 3, but understands that his failure will result in a “We need to talk” moment. He cares enough to sign-up for that, and introduces you to his boys.
Friend
You may or may not be someone he has dated. He values/respect you enough to want you in his life, even in a casual way. It includes women that he has slept with, or would like to sleep with, in addition to acquaintances and associates with no sexual connection. If there is a sexual connection, there is no exclusiveness, even if you think there is. He feels open to wander and explore any and all other options at his (in)discretion.
Lady Friend
He does not intend to see you much past this one time when he had to introduce you. He isn’t concerned if you will be friends long-term. He might not think your smart enough or pretty enough. What ever the situation, this is one step above “Woman I went out with once, sort of. But it was nothing.” Don’t take it personally, keep it moving and make sure he pays for dinner. It’s the least he can do.
Shorty
The song says it all “Even though I’m not your man your not my girl I’m a call you my Shor…..ty.” You are amazing in bed and quite the freak. You should teach a class. You get to go with him to the club, boy’s weekend in Vegas, and your phone consistently rings after 2am. Take a look now- can you see any calls from him in your log before midnight? You will never be the wife, or even the mistress, because then he would have to buy you stuff; and that just won’t happen. Know that he enjoys you, and is vocal about it. So vocal that you shouldn’t be surprised if his friends start to call to see if they can have a ride.
NAMES WOMEN GIVE TO MEN
Boyfriend
You are it. She is supportive, nurturing, and attentive. She loves and cherishes you. She makes that pic of the two of you together her face book profile picture and is sure that her status says she is off the market. She goes out of her way to do things for you; because when you’re happy, she’s happy. You might fight, but she always tries to make up. She makes sure that girl’s night out ends promptly at 9pm…before anyone can be confused about the fact that she has a man at home.
Friend
You may be one of the following: man she would like to date, man she dated before but isn’t interest in sleeping with again, the guy she lived next to in grammar school, the dude in her office that asks every day if she still has a boyfriend, the guy she slept with in Jamaica that weekend her man went to Rio with the fellas, the guy at the bakery who always saves her a cookie, the dude she met on spring break and always wondered if he would be good in bed, her high school sweetheart, the guy she was dating right before she met her current boyfriend, her group mate from college who always tutored her that she kissed once, the guy that she met at a networking event who spits when he talks, or the guy her friend has been trying to fix her up with for years (particularly every time her man messes up).
I hope that clears it all up for you.
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